Thursday, April 26, 2012
After decades of research and debate and mountains of medical journals, Dr. Adam Ostrzenski found the elusive G spot. Finally, a man finds it. No surprise that it’s front page international news and the quickest his research has ever been published.
That’s the good news. The bad news – the woman is 83 and recently deceased…fat lot of good it’s going to do her now. Isn’t that just the way? One can only speculate after a lifetime of rather ordinary, perhaps mundane sex ...shortly after her demise, a man finally pays enough attention to find it. Mind you, it took him 7 fricken hours of painstakingly meticulous poking and prodding to locate it, who the hell has that kind of time? Don’t get me wrong, you want a man to take his time and pay attention, but 7 hours is plain excessive. Wake me when you find it buddy and we can both celebrate. (I find myself rereading the article to confirm that she was dead before he launched this particular expedition and didn’t die of boredom in the process).
He was prevented from taking a tissue sample because – and I quote – “the subject was not in a position to communicate”. I may be going out on a limb here but she might have been willing to part with a sample, in the interest of proving it actually exists - she’s done with it. The doctor’s search through a century’s worth of existing studies (you read that correctly, it’s taken a hundred years ...worst case of refusing to ask for directions ever) found his was the first description of the coordinates of the elusive G spot. Coordinates?? Really? We are not talking about a massive search area here, this is not Star Trek ...although, it may also be described as going where no man has gone before. Or, at least, very few. Coordinates …like maybe he can plug the numbers into his GPS and locate it repeatedly?? Okay, I can get on board with that argument. Crap, now I can’t get the vision of Cpt. James T Kirk at the helm out of my head … giving Sulu the coordinates to plug into the console … and given Sulu’s foray out of the closet, we know he has absolutely no vested interest in finding a G spot.
This woman is absolutely entitled to come back and haunt the bejeebers out of every lover she ever had or track them down in the hereafter. The world’s most justified “I told you so” dance in the history of humanity.
The doctor is returning to Poland to continue his research with cadavers from different age groups in a scientific effort to prove that the deceased 83 yr old woman did not, in fact, possess the only G spot in existence. Once he’s got that resolved, he’s going after Bigfoot, the Loch Ness Monster and Santa Claus…so many obscure mysteries to be solved.
~ the nasty wench~